Self Pity



Something about this poem written by D H Lawrence resonates within my soul. The poem is written in free verse.

The poem circles around the central three words, “sorry for itself”, returning twice, once in the second line and then again at the poems conclusion.

It is suggested the way self-pity is self consuming and, ultimately self destructive…

Brilliant!

G.I. Jane

One of the best movies that inspires me to never give up! Definitely, a must watch!

Self Improvement

Bridgette ~

to visit my homepage please click here: http://hardtobemeinoklahoma.com

Technical Difficulties



Good morning to all! Just wanted to say, welcome to my site, my blogs! However, I must admit, I am not a whiz when it comes to all the tech stuff that comes with having a website, blog, etc. I should have paid more attention in my computer programming class, way back then. But even way back then, I didn’t get it. Anyways, I wanted to let you know, that I have read other sites, and often wanted to donate to their time, but I keep hitting the error, of using a proxy. I have no idea as to what that means, even researching the term has no meaning. Perhaps I should invite my grandchildren over, to fix the issue. 🙂 I have never seen such a tech advanced generation. Why my 3 year old grandson knows how to operate an x box remote, something I know nothing about. So forgive me, if I wanted to donate, but couldn’t. I’m sure some where along the way, it will slowly come to me how to resolve the issue.

Just thoughts

Bridgette~

to visit my homepage please click here: http://hardtobemeinoklahoma.com

It’s A Tuff World



Some days I feel like I’m the windshield other days the bug! Which is it today, I don’t know. It’s been a tuff couple days that’s for sure though. I have no idea where all this disharmony is coming from.

Sure having children, relatives, family members, friends can be a positive thing, but today nobody wants to get along. The whole world doesn’t seem to want to get along. That rainbow in the sky is dissipating. Sigh…

Sadly to say, I’m hiding out in a crowded parking lot, by myself. Too much noise elsewhere. The feeling of peace in my soul is gone.

We cannot control other people’s attitudes, resentments, or even what they think about you. We can only control ourselves and even that sometimes is difficult. But today I will not join in with all the negativity. Sure my feelings are hurt with angry words, but I will survive. I will not retaliate. I will just sit in my own company.

Love yourself people. Love yourself enough to stand strong. Stay true to yourself. Forgive others even when it’s the most difficult. Do not carry their burdens. Give time to time to heal.

Have faith that better days will come. And love yourself the most during these days….

Just thoughts-

Bridgette ~

to reach me at my homepage click here: http://hardtobemeinoklahoma.com

Insecurity



I am so overwhelmed at the moment, filled up, solid, with the feeling of insecurity. Insecurity in myself, insecurity about where my life is headed, insecurity about my current relationship.

Can I do this? Can I write publicly about my mental health issues and survive? Why certainly, Bridgette, you’ve survived this long-my thoughts. Who will care about me? Perhaps YOU-my thoughts again.

Where is my life headed? I don’t know, but lets not stay stagnate and just take a deep breath and breathe. Okay, sounds simple enough.

Does “he”, (current relationship,) really want you to stay? I don’t know, I’ve only been told to leave 3 times within a 10 day period. But every time you start to get packed up, things start to settle down. It’s so exhausting, and frightful. Yes, I tend to start the troubles, me and my mouth with my little insecurities, he says are driving him away. I so need to work on this. He has changed so much from the man he was in the beginning 10 years ago, to the man he is today. Just look out the window, a new car for me, a new shiny expensive engagement ring, don’t blow it, Bridgette, just because your scared.

So, I really tried today, this morning, I sent him a lovely text while he was in the bathroom preparing for work. Nothing negative, just letting him know, how much I appreciate him, how much I respect him, and that I never want him to feel alone again in this relationship. We both have difficulty with context, what I say he tends to take to a whole different meaning, and vice versa. My actions, though well intended, are hurtful and some what purposely done to harm him in some way, again taken out of context. I find it strange, that my loss of hearing issues he tends to mistaken for some sort of intently ignoring him…Say what? Ummm, definitely, NO!

Is he really working tomorrow, on a Saturday, or is it something else? I can not control him, I can not follow him, for the best thing I really have control over is me, just me. And the whole truth of the matter is, I need to learn to be confident in myself, know myself, trust myself, be the best woman that I can be. If I just be THAT, then if he wanders off, chooses to go elsewhere, wants me to leave, then in my heart I should be okay with it. If I show jealousy, put him down because I’m fearful, then I can only blame myself. Bridgette you carry too much already for what you blame yourself for. So lets just try something different, starting today. Be the best version of YOU. Give him nothing to complain about. Don’t sit at home and wallow in self-pitty. Go take Gracie, (my beautiful black lab) for a walk. It’s time.

Self Improvement

Bridgette~

to visit my homepage please click the following link:

http://hardtobemeinoklahoma.com