Character Defects

Is it wrong to know that I am stubborn and prideful? I am the type of person who enjoys working alone, rather than in the company of others. I did not realize just how much I struggled to be a team player in the past few years, until these past few years. Is their something wrong with that? I do not know. I also did not know, that preferring to work alone, is often referred to as being prideful. Is it? Another question I ask myself. I only ask this, because I was researching the definition of pride, and it referred to working alone. So whatever.

My whole thinking is that how can I truly be proud of an accomplishment if someone helped me along the way? If I’m painting a house, and someone helps me, can I be proud of the finished product? No, only the areas that I painted perhaps. I do not know why I feel the way I do. But personally, I can only visualize painting this house that is my current project, if I do so alone.

I do not mind the struggles. No pain no gain. In the past I have completed projects, doing the things the hard way. Their may be an easier tool out their that will get the deed done in half the time, but nope I’m using what I have, and using my sweat and tears and in a matter of time, it gets done. I enjoy standing back and admiring my work. It is however frustrating for someone to come along and say, “well, if you would have done it this way, it would have been much easier and faster!” Ugh!

Oh well, then perhaps I would not have felt the pain.. Pain is what makes me feel alive. Geeze, it sounds so horrific typing this statement. I must have issues. But perhaps we all do in some sort of another.

Just thoughts this morning as I am getting ready to head out the door in the dark awaiting the early morning sunrise. The summer’s heat is back, as we only had 1 day of lower temperatures. When the weatherman said a cool front was coming, I would have rather he said nothing at all if it was only to last a day.

Well, I hope I can get some much needed therapy out their painting today. Sounds like I need it. Nothing harmful about getting a good old fashioned attitude adjustment. I am not a perfect person. And if I reflect to much perfection in my writings, then I would seem unhuman. I am human though, the last I checked. Love yourself today, despite yourself. For my motto is, if their was no darkness in the soul then perhaps we wouldn’t appreciate the light.

I hope you enjoyed the Labor Day holiday.

Just thoughts,


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