Fictional Romance Chapter 2 Part 3


I’m not sure just how long I was asleep in my bed, when I heard the sound of Monica and Jet coming in through the front door, when a bright light from the living room lamp flickered on and seeped, through my cracked bedroom door. I could see what appeared to be a suitcase in Jet’s hands. I briefly sighed, rolled over and tried to get back to sleep when a strange feeling of jealously hit me.

He looked good, even better than I had remembered as the t shirt he wore, fit him nicely. Whatever he had in that suitcase must be heavy has it had a way of bulging out his tanned muscles. I can taste him again, and feel the strength in his fingertips has he pulled my hair back that night. The way his lips were soft yet firm on my mouth I begin to yearn for as I lay there remeniscing.

If only I would have stayed that night around the camp fire, perhaps things might be different. Maybe I would be the one, laughing and giggling and cuddling up to him every night. What is wrong with me? Why do I insist on being so distant from everyone? Haven’t I learned anything from the old people I take care of? Life is short and I know it. Perhaps I need to let go of the idea that every one will eventually leave me.

As I get up and pull on my jeans to go to the bathroom, I attempt to forgive myself. If only dad was here, and my brother Joe. Funny how even mom crosses my mind. I was her only girl and instead of letting her dress me up in dresses, I hated her for it.

As I head on into the bathroom in the hallway, Monica quickly grabs my attention.

“Hey Savanah?” “Do you think you could help us out tomorrow and use your truck to get the rest of Jet’s stuff?” Monica asked with a smile.

Before I can answer, Jets steps into the conversation.

“My brother is coming in from California tomorrow to help, but he won’t have a truck or anything, our grandparents usually pick him up from the airport in Wentsworth.”

I give Jet a quick nod yes, and go about into the bathroom. Zipping up my pants I open the door, and continue with, “You two can borrow my truck, but I have to work tomorrow, so it will be afterwards.”

“Thanks Savanah, your a life saver, “ Monica replies.

I close my bedroom door, with a smile, barely looking at the two of them snuggled up on the couch. Filled with so many mixed emotions, I try to shake it off. Once again, Monica never looked so happy has she does tonight. I should be grateful I guess.

Grasping onto my pillow, I give it one quick squeeze, as a small tear starts to find its way down my cheek. It could have been me. I could have been happy in love. Instead I’m laying here in my bed alone, again.

I look over at the time, and its only 10:30 pm. Geeze. This is a long night already. I better get some sleep. I hear the sound of faint giggles, and close my eyes.

Morning comes sooner than expected. With my alarm blazing, I reach over and hit the button. I do not want to get up and I find myself forcefully moving my legs out from underneath the covers. Their is a sense of chill in the air. I guess fall is really here.

I notice the house is empty as Monica works the early shift at the diner. As for Jet, I do not know what it is he does. I never asked, and quite frankly its none of my business. As long as he pays his share of the bills thats what will matter. Perhaps my rent will go down, and I can finally afford some time off and go visit my brothers that I have been missing.

I make my usual oatmeal with raisins and put a lot of cinnamon in it. For some reason the smell of it, isn’t quite as appeasing as it is usually. I eat it anyway as my stomach begins to growl and beg for some.

I grab a jacket and the truck keys and my phone begins to ring. I notice its the nursing home.

“Hello?”

“Savanah? This is Marjorie from work, do you think you could work a double shift today, Tonya has already called in, I guess she has the Corona virus, so we need you?”

“What, how did she get that? We haven’t seen much of it here.”

Before I can continue, Marjorie buts into my thoughts and conversation.

“I know dear, but she’s thinking she got it while she was visiting her family last week.”

“Oh okay, well sure, no problem.” I replied. I hang up the phone, and take a drag off my cigarette, as I’m waiting for truck to warm. I quickly realize now, that I will be unable to help Monica and Jet move has I had promised last night. I guess I will stop off at the diner before work and let Monica know.

As I pull into the drive at the diner I notice Jet sipping some coffee through one of the windows. So this is where he is. As I head on into the diner I notice Monica is busy with some costomers.

“Jet?” I quietly say with a brief smile.

“Why goodmorning Savanah, its a pleasure seeing you here this morning.” Jet returns the smile.

“I was just letting you two know, that I have to stay after work today and work a double shift so I wont be able to help with the move.” As I pull back on my hair, “I do have a spare key to my truck, and I can just leave it with you so you two can still use it, just be sure and bring the truck back so I can get back home. Is that okay?” as I try to hide my hands from fidgetting.

“Yes, Savanah, that will be great, thank you. “ Jet replies while he takes another sip from his coffee.

I lay the key on the table and take a quick turn out of the diner. I can see from the distance the obvious confusion on Monica’s face, but I hurridly have to go in order to not be late for work.

You see, that wasn’t so bad, I tell myself. Everything is going to be just fine. “Just fine.” I mutter to myself, as I drive away.

Fictional Romance

Bridgette~

I hope you all are enjoying this series. All donations will be greatly appreciated to turn this fictional romance story into an e-book. Anyone who wishes to contribute will get this e-book free! Thank you in advance!

E Book Funding

Thank you for your encouragement and support!

$5.00

Anything Is Possible


As I reflect back to just a year ago in my own life today on where I was, what I was doing, and just who I was, the difference is like night and day. My thinking is different, my personal goals are different, my relationships with myself and people are different.

Some of the changes that have taken place have taken a more gradual slow approach, while others were like a leap. I have lost some things and yet I have gained so much. The point is, I didn’t stay stuck or stagnant.

So many times in my life, I found myself being sucked up into a state of depression, that I was blinded by what could be possible. I even went so far in 2013 that I attempted to take my own life. My own reasoning was that I thought nothing was going to get better and my children were all going to grow up and move away and I was going to be left alone.

I honestly could not see the other side of the coin! That is the way depression hinders your thoughts and any type of vision of the future. You are literally blinded. It is the saddest state of being.

My hopes today is that no matter who you are, where you are, and what you are doing, your able to take some kind of hold to these words-never give up! Never give up on the fact that anything is possible!

Words cannot describe just how grateful I am for that day that I was saved! I had no blood pressure, honestly, it was a miracle, I am here today! I have a new outlook on life, I am a stronger person than I was back then, and though I still get depressed, I hang on until my thoughts change for the better.

If I can do it, so can you! I was one of the lucky ones, and you can be one too!

Thank you for reading,

Glad to be here!

Just thoughts

Bridgette~

Support hardtobemeinoklahoma.com

Thank you for your encouragement and support!

$1.00

If Whiskey Was A Woman



If whiskey was a woman

I’d knock her out today

Nothing like watching you drink

As I lay in bed and pray.

I think about who you use to be

and where you are now

the painful moments of sobriety

gave way to death somehow.

I thought it was a choice

and how I hated that to be

but now the years have passed

and I see now what I couldn’t see.

Whiskey was the darkness

the chains that bound your soul

I thought you loved her more

until your story was wrote and sold.


Just thoughts in poetry form.

Bridgette~

In memory of a husband who passed away years ago from alcoholism. I use to hate him for it. I also have a mother who is an alcoholic as well as a brother who is an addict. Their are so many addictions out there. There are so many people we all know who are addicts. It took me a long time to realize it is not their choice.

Thank you for reading.

Support hardtobemeinoklahoma.com

Thank you for your encouragement and support!

$1.00

Gracie’s Troubles


My dog Gracie has been forever changed since she swallowed a pair of my socks a few months ago. Her stomach is weak and despite her eating her regular dog food, she has a tendency to get sickly often. For me personally this is not a good thing because I tend to get ill feeling as well at the sound of anything vomiting.

So here I sit with my stomach rolling because Gracie woke me up getting sick. 😦

All these troubles make me think about our own mistakes that we make in our lives and how they can affect us throughout our lives. Sometimes we do something to ourselves without realizing the life long consequences it has on us and others.

Their is nothing I can do at this point to change what happened to Gracie. Now days I just have to adjust how I take care of her, and try to manage her weak stomach as well as mine. I never imagined just how high maintenance this all would be however, as I have to constantly monitor what she puts in her mouth.

I have also never had to deal with a dog trying to eat paper as well. I’m not sure if it is something she is craving or if it is just her being mischievous as I discover a half chewed up folder in the office that was holding some paperwork.

Whatever the case may be, her loving, out going full of energy personality has not changed. Gracie will be a year old next month and weighs about 65 pounds now. However, her stomach area where she had to have surgery back when this all happened has changed in appearance. She looks like a mixed racing dog instead of a full filled out lab. But that is okay with me, I love her anyway.

I hope Gracie gets to live a full happy life despite the consequences of her actions that have forever changed her. I hope that we as people get to live our lives happy as well, even though we have made some life changing bad choices. It’s all in the perspective of how we learn to adapt and overcome.

This is my blog for today, and I hope you all have a wonderful week.

My dog, Gracie

Bridgette~

In Between My Time


In between my time, is a phrase I have coined, extending back to the days when I often felt lost on the inside, usually after some type of loss. This loss was usually related to a change in what was the norm, to something, that was going to be a new way of life, a new type of living without what was. I was no longer in the old place surrounded by comfort, I was not in the new place feeling comfort, I was somewhere in between.

When I mention the word comfort, the meaning does not necessarily reflect that, because you can be in an abusive relationship, an unstable home, etc., for a length of time, and anything other than that, can cause you to feel uncomfortable. Another words, if you have grown use to living in chaos, then being ejected into a peaceful atmosphere, can be overwhelming to your senses.

My first recollection of this feeling of in between my time, or lostness, was when my father divorced my first stepmother after having been married to her for almost 10 years. My step mother had a son who was only a year and a half older than me, and a handicapped daughter who was a year and half younger than me. I had been the middle child during the relationship for years, and now I was going to be slung back into a life of being the only child. I was completely overwhelmed at the feeling of being alone. Nothing felt right, no one was the same, my world was now completely different.

I know I am not alone in this. This period of our lives, and the feeling of being uncomfortable in our own skin happens when we change jobs, careers, change relationships, move to another location, change schools, get a divorce, lose a pet, lose a family member, etc. Nothing feels right, or comfortable, and the length of time we are in this place, varies for each of us.

I find this time in my life, the most difficult of times. But yet, here I am today, I am alive, so therefore, I made it through. I made it through because I pushed through the uncomfortableness, and that uncomfortableness, began to be comfortable in itself. I adapted.

What we do with ourselves during this time, is crucial to our being. For some they can’t handle it, and they drift into negative living with bad choices. For others, they take more positive actions. Even the smallest step towards positivity can change our lives towards the better. I learned this philosophy while attending a twelve step program for my depression. The phrase, “Keep coming back, it works if you work it,” really does work, if you keep coming back! The reason you keep coming back is because eventually, it will begin to feel comfortable, like a habit.

My hope today, is that no matter where you find yourself at, just know that if you keep taking steps however so little towards where you want to be in life, you will get there eventually. Keep doing what’s right for you, and everything will fall into its place. The uncomfortableness will take on a new shape and create a new beginning. So keep coming back, and work it, and it will work for you! 🙂

Just thoughts

Bridgette~

I am blessed to be here and if my work is helping you in anyway all contributions are welcomed! Thank you in advance. 

photo of red rose

Support hardtobemeinoklahoma.com

Thank you for your encouragement and support!

$1.00