I remember specifically the one time in my life during junior high school when I was bullied. I guess you might say, if it was only one time, then perhaps I was lucky. It was not just one day that I was bullied, it was by two girls over a certain period of time. One of the girls was the main bully, the other I was guessing was her added support.
I remember being sick for a few days during the school week, and therefore I had taken a leave from school. When I returned to school, I was horrified to find that two girls in my gym class, (physical education) had suddenly decided that I had spread a rumor about them. They were totally incorrect. I was a shy student during most of my school years due to perhaps the trauma I was living with in my home life and therefore I had very little friends. Once the bullying started, I had no one to talk to, and school was no longer my safe haven.
I remember feeling terrified. These two girls made multiple threats about hunting me down and beating me. It is an odd thing to be bullied because suddenly you become aware of your surroundings. I had never even noticed these girls prior to these so called rumors but suddenly I discovered they were now following me home from school. Why these two girls never attacked me off of school grounds I will never know to this day.
Fast forward to several weeks of this torment, name calling, multiple threats on my livelihood, and I was feeling extremely exhausted, until the day-
Remember I said we were in gym class?
Awe, yes, the day my physical education teacher decided we all needed to learn how to play soccer! Call it a God send but somehow it was arranged towards where the two bullies were on the other team. I remember racing around the soccer field when suddenly the soccer ball was at my feet. As I look up and start to kick the ball all I can remember is both of these two girls charging at me trying to steal the ball. I looked down at my feet and with one swift hard kick I swung my foot forward and accidently kicked the main bully dead straight into her shin! Ouch!
It was literally game over! I must have brought that bully so much pain, that she never bothered me again! The truth of the matter was the fact that it was a complete accident, I had no intention on kicking her. And as quick as being bullied began, it was over.
What did I learn about being bullied? Sometimes, you do not even have to do anything to be the target of bullying. Sometimes bullies bully for attention and it is strictly just an intimidation game. Living in fear is one of the most horrible ways to live.
Sometimes God steps in and handles things for you! 😉
However brief of a moment that his lips touched mine, the sound of a woman’s voice took me by surprise. As Nash cupped his hand up towards his phone and started heading off towards the kitchen, I glanced his way with a smile and headed off into the bathroom.
Once I closed the bathroom door behind me, I glued my ear to the back of the door in order to catch the conversation. To no avail however, the only sound I could hear was Nash’s response.
“Yes, sure put her on.” Nash responded to the other end of the conversation.
“Why hi baby, how’s my big girl today?” Nash responded with what seemed like a pure delightful tone.
As my eyes widened and my ears tried to squeeze down on the flattened surface of the door in order to somehow catch the other end of the conversation, I could now hear the sound of the front door opening and Nash’s voice fade off into the distance.
One look at myself in the mirror of the bathroom, I began to wonder what it was that I was getting myself into.
I couldn’t stay hidden away forever so I decided to join the others outside. Upon stepping out onto the front porch I could see Nash leaning against a tree and smiling with his phone still glued to his ear.
Shall I go over and join him I wondered to myself. Just as soon as my mind started its own debate, Monica jumped up and grabbed my hand and pulled me back inside the house.
“Savanah I must tell you something. I went to the doctor the other day, and I am in fact pregnant.” Monica said in a somewhat joyous tone of voice.
As she stood their still holding onto my hand eagerly awaiting my response, Jet preceeded to walk inside the house.
Just as quickly as Monica had grabbed my hand out on the porch, she let go, turned to me and smiled as if giving me some sort of cue to keep her secret limited to ourselves.
By now Jet was giving us a raised eyebrow kind of look as he headed off into the kitchen.
“What are you girls whispering about?” Jet said in a casual voice.
“Oh nothing Jet, we were just talking girl talk, you know, trying to figure out what to cook for dinner” Monica replied with a sheepish grin in my direction.
“Oh yeah, what did you come up with?” Jet replied.
“Um we were thinking since its so nice out, perhaps you and Nash wouldn’t mind cooking out on the grill, while me and Savanah cook up some fried potatoes and maybe some green beans?”
“That sounds pretty good, what do we have to cook on the grill?” Jet asked.
“Well, I bought a couple of steaks the otherday, they are still in the fridge. I was saving them for this weekend, but tonight will do.” Monica said, as she headed off towards the kitchen.
Just as soon as Monica disappeared, Nash walked back in through the house. Startled. I began to speak with a hesitant smile.
“Everything okay?” as I slid my hands down both sides of my jeans as if to wipe off the anxious sweat.
“Why yes, Savanah, everything is well.” Nash replied.
Just as soon as I could see Nash start to say something else, Jet comes out from the kitchen and throws Nash, Monica’s car keys.
“Let’s go brother, we need to get some charcoal for the grill if we are going to eat tonight!”
“Okay brother, sure thing!” Nash replied as the two of them headed off outside.
I do not know what it was that I was thinking as I stood at the front door watching the two of them disappear down the driveway. All I know, is that my life felt as if it just went from boring to something filled with adventuresome.
As I was taking the moment in, Monica began hollowering at me from the kitchen.
“Savanah, can you help me please?”
“Sure thing, I will be right there!” I replied back as I kept staring down the road to where Jet and Nash had disappeared to.
Walking into the kitchen, Monica was bent down staring into the fridge. “Are they gone yet?”
“Yes they just left.” I replied anxiously wondering what was on Monica’s mind.
“I think Nash has a kid!” I blurted out.
One look from Monica’s face as she shut the refrigerator door, and I immediately wanted to retract my words but it was too late, she heard me.
“What? What makes you say that?” Monica’s lengthy stare overwhelmed my thoughts.
“Umm, well, I heard him asking whoever was on the phone how his big girl was today.” I replied hesitantly as to not give away that I was eavesdropping into Nash’s conversation.
“Oh really? Well, that’s interesting. I wonder why Jet hasn’t told me that?” Monica pauses for a moment and then lights up with a big smile. “But then again, we haven’t really talked much about his brother, we’ve been busy with other things, like well, you know, having fun!” Monica twirls around the kitchen and begins to shake her hips in a nonchalant way as if I needed a clue to what it was she was referring to.
“Geeze, Monica, is that what its all about?” I said in response to her gestures.
“No, but it sure helps.”
Just as soon as we both start to laugh, the front screen door slams shut startling the both of us! One quick turn towards the living room and Monica and I are greeted with Nash soaked down in a sweat and yelling at us to come quick!
Pulling into the parking lot at work, I noticed for the first time that I had a sense of excitement about me. As I punched in to the timeclock I began to count the hours till my shift ended. One quick glance at the schedule and I noticed today was my last day, then I had a few days off.
Verna was in her usual place in the dining room facing the window.
“How’s it going today my dear?” Verna said with a weak smile.
“I’m doing good today, Verna. How about you?” I replied returning the smile.
“Oh I’m feeling a bit restless today, Savanah, do you think maybe later we could go outside?”
“Why sure Verna, I would be happy to get out of here myself. I’ts one of those beautiful days when you just want to enjoy the outdoors.”
Looking over to Verna, I couldn’t help but feel her weak smile grow into a full blown grin as it overtook her whole face.
Thats why I work here, and I don’t need to explain that to anyone.
The breakfast trays arrived on time as usual, and has I was in the midst of passing them out to the residents there, I couldn’t help but feel my own hunger pains. The cook on duty always seemed to fry up a few extra pieces of bacon just for the workers. I’ts always nice to have good staff that works together.
Later on in the mid afternoon, I kept my promise to Verna and we headed out into the courtyard of the nursing home. It is a nice little area right in the middle of the building that has picnic tables and bird feeders. Bird watching gives the residents a hobby, one in which I have grown fond of myself.
The small talk was nice, and as we celebrated another residents 93 rd birthday with cupcakes and ice cream, Verna and I were reminded of the small things that bring us both joy.
Before too long, my shift was over, and I was headed home driving Monica’s car. It had been a pleasant day, and the fall colors of the tree leaves against the back drop of the mountains reminded me of why I love this town so much. I couldn’t imagine living any where else and why my brothers all chose to live elsewhere I will never completely understand.
As I drove past the site of where my truck had been stuck in the mud with a flat tire, a sense of excitement and anxiousness overwhelmed me. I could feel my palms getting sweaty as my hands engulfed the steering wheel and like a little kid watching out for Santa my eyes widened looking towards the house.
I could see my pick up truck parked in the drive in its usual location now fixed and ready to go. At the edge of the front porch I could see Monica and Jet sitting on the stairwell both laughing as Jet was pulling Monica’s hair out away from her face.
Looking around, I could not see Nash anywhere, and my only hopes was that he was just inside the house waiting for me.
I quickly gathered my belongings out of Monica’s car and headed up towards the steps of the house, all the while with Monica and Jet giggling back and forth. With great anticipation, Monica stopped me with a brief pause in her giggles and a simple remark that my trucks tire had been fixed. A simple nod of a thank you, and I swung open the front door, and their he was.
Standing in my full blown vision against the light of the refrigerator opened door, he looked at me and quickly smiled.
“Why hello, Savanah, would you care for something to drink?” Nash replied, while handing me a cool frosted beer from the fridge.
“Sure, just let me get out of my work clothes and I will join you.” Heading towards my bedroom and shutting the door behind me, I could hear Nash reply.
“Why sure, I’ll be right outside Savanah.”
As I quickly start to get undressed out of my work clothes and slide into one of my favorite flannel shirts and button down jeans, a quick soft knock on my bedroom door, catches me offguard.
“Savanah?” Nash wispers.
“Yes?” I reply hesitantly.
“Just one quick thing.” Nash cuts off into a silence.
“What?” as I stand there for a brief moment and wait for a response, I crack open my door. One quick peep and their he is with his boyish good looks adorned with a cute dimpled smile.
“I couldn’t wait. May I have your permission to kiss you?” Nash answers.
Without hesitation, I open my bedroom door wider and slide into the strength of his arms. Pulling gently on my long flowing hair, he reaches back onto my neck and presses his firm lips onto mine where we seem to melt into each others souls.
I lose myself into the moment but am quickly brought back to reality with a loud feel of a vibration and the sound of a ring coming from Nash’s phone.
As Nash steps back to answer his phone, I begin to hear a woman’s voice on the other end of the line.
Work was long and hard. Working double shifts at the nursing home is not one of my favorites due to its high physical demands. When you are short handed moving patients that are unable to walk or stand is strenuous and it doesn’t leave you much time to interact on a personal level with the elderly like they need.
Has I walked out into the parking lot into the darkness barely lit with a single light, it seemed as if I had missed out on the whole entire autumn day. The howling of the wind was the only sound to be heard besides my footsteps hitting the pavement. My truck was parked in a different location than what I had left it, only to let me know that in fact Monica and Jet had used my truck for moving Jet into our home while I was busy with work.
I couldn’t help but wonder how this new living arrangement was going to work out. I have never lived with anyone except Monica since the county came and took the house in which I grew up in. If its anything like growing up with three brothers it might just work out. But then again, it might not, depending upon if Monica is pregnant, and who knows how Jet might take the news.
The drive home was long and it seemed to take forever. I was extremely exhausted and I could feel it in my bones when suddenly my truck veered off into the ditch. I could see the edge of the driveway leading up to house off into the distance so no worries I guess.
Just what I needed tonight!
I could feel the wind blowing much harder than before, straight through my oversized jacket as I opened my truck door. One look at my front drivers side tire and I could see what had happened. Totally flat now, the tire must have somehow worn down to nothingness. I guess it will be morning before the truck will be going anywhere.
I gathered the rest of my belongings and headed out towards home. The night seems eerie now with only the light of a half moon and the coyotes howling off in the distance. With the coldness of the wind billowing through my veins, I start to shiver as a light mist parades down my face.
I managed to reach the edge of the drive in what seemed like hours, when suddenly two dark figures appear heading towards me. From the outline of their shadows it appears to be two men. Frightened I grab ahold of my purse and pretend to reach inside as if I had some means to protect myself.
Before I could make my move, I heard Jet’s voice breaking the silence.
“Savanah! Are you okay? It’s me, Jet!” he yells as he continues moving towards me.
Brushing my cold wet hair away from eyes, I can see, Jet’s face, as well as……
Wait a minute! As I stop dead in my tracks, and barely lit by the moon, I wipe my eyes to see, two of them! Two men, with a boyish face, exactly the same!
I am stuck there, frozen in time. All my thoughts entangled into what I could see right before my eyes, and all my thoughts of the misery that I had kept to myself since that night by the campfire. Every piece of me was unraveling from the inside out.
The cold mist now taken to a downright pouring rain, made no difference. I did not move. I couldn’t. On one hand I was grateful that the guy with the boyish face was not Jet, but perhaps, his twin brother. On the other hand, I could feel a mixture of excitement and guilt as if their is such a thing.
Before my thoughts could conclude anything, the other guy with the boyish face, reaches out his hand and grabs onto mine. One look into his eyes and I could see some sort of smile taking shape in the darkness. With a deep firm voice against the sound of the falling rain, he begins to speak.
“Why hello, you must be Savanah. I believe we have met before. Lets hurry up and get you inside before you catch cold.”
Nodding my head in his direction, I follow his lead never letting go of his hand in mine.
By the time we reached the house I was shivering relentlessly. I could not tell if I was shaking from the coldness of the pouring down rain, or the intense excitement that was running throughout my veins. Either way it didn’t matter. My heart was beating like it had that night with him around the campfire, where our insides had connected on one of the most deepest levels that I had ever known.
Our hands remained cupped together as if somehow intertwined and magnetic. For once in my life, I didn’t want to let go. I could feel his strength. I could feel everything.
Once inside the house he proceeded to wipe my hair away from my eyes. Standing right in front of me, he appeared much taller than I had remembered. With both of us standing face to face with the left over rain water dripping from our jackets, he began to speak.
“Lets get you dried off Savanah. You must be freezing,” he said with a quirky smile. He grabbed a thick heavy towel that Jet had in his hands, and proceeded to dry me off. Out of the corner of my eyes I could see the fireplace lit, and feel its warmth.
Jet chimed in, “I think I will go to bed now, its been a long day for us, don’t worry Savanah, Nash and I will take care of your truck tomorrow.”
Before I could even reply, Jet slipped away into Monica’s bedroom, and left Nash and I standing there in front of the fireplace.
Alone with Nash for the first time since we met, all I could do was stare at his boyish face. The flickers of dim light coming from the fire and the sound of the country music playing softly in the background seemed to set the scene. Then it happened. The sound of Morgan Wallens song, ‘Silverado For Sale, ‘ filled the air.
With one sudden move, we drifted away into a slow step, both melting into each others embrace. His hands moving around the small of my back, and mine melting away into his. No need for words, just the softness of the song.
(both dancing, slowly and softly, against the firelight)
As the radio continues, I could feel his hands slowly move from my back upwards towards both sides of my cheeks. One moment we were dancing, the next his firm lips were on my mine. My thoughts vanished, the world vanished, everything did at that moment. For what seemed like eternity, then suddenly halted.
I begin to pull away. I begin to come back to reality. I begin to fight with my insides yearning, and the anger inside that is now growing. Where the madness is coming from I do not know, but I can feel it.
He struggles to hold on to me, as I move away from his grasp and I reach for my jacket now laying in a small puddle on the floor.
“Savanah, what’s wrong?” he asked in a confused tone.
“I can’t believe you never called me!” I yell back.
“You had my number all this time, and do you think you could just not call and then see me again, and I’d be right back, like nothing ever happened?”
“I can’t believe you, don’t you know how much I just wanted you to call me that night!” I continue on now with my voice shaking.
“I didn’t know, Savanah, you left without even telling me goodbye. You left so fast, I didn’t know what to think. Why didn’t you call me?” Nash returns in retrospect.
“Good God, I didn’t even know your name up until now, why do you think I didn’t call you. It was nothing, that night meant nothing to you or me. It was just, well, something, I don’t know.” reaching back to pull my hair away from my face, I start to head off towards my bedroom.
“Savanah, please don’t go. I didn’t know.” I could hear Nash reply in some sort of childish sorrow filled voice as I close my bedroom door leaving him behind.
The room is now filled with silence. The music has now come to a standstill, and I stretch myself out upon my bed. My eyes seem to be filling up with tears, has I try to wipe them away as if to hide them from myself.
Still somewhat damp from the rain, I shiver, climbing inside the comfort of my covers and I bury my head into my pillow. Close my eyes, and try to forget the night.
Laying there in the silence I hear the soft suble sound of a knock on my bedroom door. I am hesitant to move but without realization, I go ahead and throw the covers off myself, and head towards the door.
“Savanah, please can we just talk? I will have to go back home tomorrow and I think we need to talk about this.” I hear Nash softly explain as I am opening my door. With his boyish good looks now consuming my wants and desires, he takes me back into his arms.
As he embraces me and I bury my face into the strength of his chest to hide away the tears now flowing relentlessly, I try to reply in return, but no words were to be found.
As he softly caresses my flowing hair, I can somehow feel a trickle of dampness from his eyes as well.
“Savanah, I want you, I’ve thought about you everyday since that night. What can I do to prove that to you? I just didn’t know how you felt about me. Can’t you understand that?” Nash says in a sorrowfilled voice, now gently grasping the back of my neck and pulling me back so that our eyes meet.
“But I don’t even know you. And you don’t even know me. How can you be talking like that anyway? What we had was just a night, right? As I reply and start to continue on, Nash takes his hand and puts up a finger to his lips as if telling me to stop. Without hesitation, we begin a deep passionate kiss that brings the conversation to an abrupt halt. Being taken back by the most beautiful moment, Nash gently moves the two of us onto my bed.
With a brief kiss to my forhead, he continues to stroke my hair, and then engulfs me into his arms where instead of trying to make love, he just allows us to both be. For once in my life, a man doesn’t need to be on the inside, and the overwhelming feeling of being okay with it all brings on a new feeling of not only excitement but some sense of peace. A peacefullness that has been long forgotten but has now renewed itself in its own beauty.
As Nash begins to hum the sound of the song we just danced away too, my eyes close, and I drift off to sleep.
I am awaken to the sound of Monica’s voice standing over me. “Savanah, wake up, come on, I have to get to work, and Jet said your trucks down with a flat tire. I thought maybe you could take me to work and use my car if you need to get to work.”
I look around my bedroom and Nash is nowhere to be found. “Where’s Nash?” I ask sleepishly.
“Jet and Nash are down the road, working on getting your truck fixed but I guess its buried in the mud so they are having to dig it out of the ditch.” Monica replied firmly and in an anxious voice.
“They said it wouldn’t take long, but they just thought, that I should wake you, and let you take my car, in case they run into trouble.”
“Oh, okay.” I gather my work clothes and head off into the shower. As the warm water flows over my body, I begin to smile and start humming the tune of our dance. I feel alive! I feel free! I feel loved!
Hurridly I climb into the passengers seat of Monica’s car. With the music blaring we head down the long drive and I see both Jet and Nash with shovels unpacking the mud from my truck tires. Nash looks over and gives me a warm smile. As I return the smile, Monica looks over and begins to question.
“So what do you think about Nash, Savanah?” Monica looks at me and flashes her painted up eyes with a sarcastic smile.
Before I can return with an answer, Monica chimes in. “ I had no idea his brother was a twin. I think its fabulous! Could you imagine going through your whole life with a twin that looked as handsome as you?
I return a smile to Monica and begin to think about what that must be like. Having another me in the world would be kind of strange yet might be adventuresome. I can only imagine how less lonely I might feel, if I had someone I could talk to, I mean really talk to.
Has we near the diner where Monica works, my mind begins to question, why is Jet here anyway, and why didn’t the both of them move here together. Before I can get the words out, Monica pulls into the diner and grabs her belongings.
“Now you take care Savanah, and don’t you worry. Just go ahead and drive my car home and your truck will be waiting for you at the house. Isn’t it delightful to have some real men around, I mean real men for a change!” Monica closes the car door and heads off into the diner.
My face starts to break out in a big smile. She’s right you know. Having some real men around here for a change does feel amazing. I crank the radio up and head off towards work. The sun is shining and the coolness of the air doesn’t even phase the warmth I feel on my insides.
Looking off towards the side of the road, I see a field of beautiful sunflowers against the rising sun.
It’s early Monday morning and two weeks has past since that dreadful night I spent in his arms. I have somehow managed to avoid Monica and Jet has the two of them have been hanging out relentlessly. A brief phone call from my favorite brother Joe has been warming as usual as he has a tendency to routinely check in on me from time to time.
I no longer work at the diner at the edge of town with Monica. My job now days is at the small nursing home facility where I get to listen to the elderly tell their stories. I find it quite appeasing, but sometimes my heart gets softened when I am holding a hand as they take their last breaths.
You would think that more people would want to spend some time with their parents or grandparents as they lay in bed and count the days until tomorrow never comes. I guess perhaps now days everyone is too busy with their own lives to care about those that no longer serve their purpose. It is a sad place to be in my retrospect to live your whole life only to end it in solitude.
As I check in to my usual nurses station, a strange sense of queeziness to my stomach quickly overwhelmes me. I grab my list of my daily to do’s and head off towards the bathroom. By the time I reach the toilet the sickness fades away. I throw some water on my face, and tend about my day.
Verna is in her usual place in the dining room sitting in her wheelchair, Facing the morning light coming through the only window in the room, she looks at me and smiles.
“How are you today, Savanah?” she asked
“I’m doing okay, how about you, Verna? Anything new?” I say with a returning smile.
“No, just the usual. But I think maybe the winter this year will be coming soon.”
“Oh yeah, why is that Verna?” I asked,
“Because I have been watching the squirrels and they seem awefully busy already. You know you can tell an aweful lot about how bad winter will be if you just watch the animals.”
“Why yes, I have heard about that too, Perhaps later today, I will be able to take you outside, if you feel up to it.”
Verna smiles back in return, and I can sense her joy. Funny how the smallest of things that we often take for granted have a way of bringing delight to those that are unable to do for themselves.
The day quickly goes by and before I know it, its time for me to be heading home. I am caught off guard at the sight of Monica waiting for me in the parking lot.
“Savanah?” Monica says as she is waiting for me by my truck.
“Yes, what is it, is everything alright?” I reply with concern.
“No, Savanah, its not. I’m worried.” Monica says with her voice shaking.
“Why, what’s wrong, Monica?”
“I think I might be pregnant.”
Now standing next to Monica, the sound of my keys hitting the pavement, quickly diverts my attention.
“I am not for sure yet, but I really do think I am!” Monica says while touching herself in her stomach.
“I haven’t felt that great for weeks now, and I really didn’t think anything about it until today, when I noticed I hadn’t had that time of the month.” Monica continues.
“Maybe your just late is all. You know it can happen, its happened to me a time or two. I wouldn’t worry too much about Monica, everything will be alright.”
“No, Savanah. This is different. I’m pretty sure I am.”
“Well, if you are, what are you going to do?” I ask, as I bent down, and picked up my keys.
“I’m not sure, but I know, I don’t want to say anything to Jet or my family, until I find out one way or the other.”
“Yeah, I wouldn’t either.” I replied with a hesitant voice.
“Lets just keep it between us, Savanah. Is that okay? I didn’t want to say anything to you, but I needed to get it off my chest. It’s been really bothering me, just thinking about it.”
I told Monica okay, and that I wouldn’t say anything. One quick hug, and she disappeared toward her car. Suddenly I felt what seemed like a good day, grow dim. I couldn’t bring myself to feel anything but more regret.
As I climb into my truck a sense of uneasiness crosses my mind. If Monica is in fact pregnant with Jets’ child, then I must never say anything to her about what happened between Jet and I a few weeks ago. I wouldn’t want to hurt her for she has done so much for me. I guess it was just wishful thinking on my part that this perhaps was just another fling for Monica.
As I pull out of the parking lot of the nursing home, I begin to realize just how much I miss Monica and I’s companionship, with Jet around I have been avoiding her. I can not keep away from her forever so I guess somehow I need to come to terms with what is really going on. I just need to forget what happened with Jet and I, and let it go.
I can’t help but feel some sort of sadness as I begin to reflect on that night though. The way he touched me, the way we seemed to connect, and the way I really wanted him again, even afterwards. I guess some things are just never meant to be, and some people are only left with a small taste of what could be, while others are getting the real deal.
As I start to head home, I decide to make a quick stop at the diner for dinner. As I pull up a seat in the corner booth, the dishwasher, Alex comes over to greet me.
“Well hello Savanah, long time no see, how are you doing?”
“Fine, I guess, “ I reply with a simple smile looking over the menu. For some reason I am hesitant at giving any eye contact.
“Well, I just wanted you to know, that we miss having you here. Aren’t you tired of that nursing home yet? I mean really, you can’t be making any money there.” Alex states firmly with his coal black hair and sheepish smile.
“I’ts not all about money, Alex. It’s about the people. Besides, I just love hearing old stories about the past.” I reply in return.
“Well okay then, suit yourself!” Alex quickly turns back and disappears into the kitchen.
“I’ll have a Coke, and a hamburger please, no onions.” pretending to read off from the menu, as I hand it back to Sylvia the waitress.
“Sounds good, I will get right on that!” Sylvia replies. Sylvia is my replacement. A tall pale girl, with red colored hair, and glasses.
Dinner was quite a treat from the usual. And I head back in my truck towards home. Evening is setting in and a few glimpses of the sun setting flickers in and out amongst the trees. The ride feels peaceful as the wind gently catches my hair and flicks pieces of it out of the rolled down window.
The closer I get to home, I begin to notice Monica’s car coming towards me. As we pull up next to each other, Monica rolls down her window.
“Hey Savanah, I’m on my way to go pick up Jet, and I guess he has to leave his place because its getting rented out. Would it be a problem with you if he moves in with us?” Monica ask with a full blown smile.
I can tell immediately, that Monica is delighted. Her deep brown eyes are giving it away.
“I guess, if its all right with you. He’s practicly there all the time anyway.” as I try to force a smile, I see Monica’s eyes light up even more. She extends the palm of her hand up to her lips and proceeds to blow me a kiss. One quick nod of my head, and I head back towards home.
“Great.” I mutter underneath my breath. I guess times are changing, and things are going to get real now. Maybe perhaps it wont be too bad having a man around to do the handy work, and cut the wood for winter. If winter goes anything like it did last year with all the heavy snow he can also shovel the driveway.
As I make a list of reasons in my head on why having Jet around might actually be a good thing, I pause for a moment and wonder just how long before Monica knows for certain if she is or is not pregnant. Oh well, I guess time will tell.
I’m not sure just how long I was asleep in my bed when I heard the sound of Monica and Jet coming in through the front door when a bright light from the living room lamp flickered on and seeped through my cracked bedroom door. I could see what appeared to be a suitcase in Jet’s hands. I briefly sighed, rolled over and tried to get back to sleep when a strange feeling of jealously hit me.
He looked good, even better than I had remembered as the t shirt he wore, fit him nicely. Whatever he had in that suitcase must be heavy has it had a way of bulging out his tanned muscles. I can taste him again, and feel the strength in his fingertips has he pulled my hair back that night. The way his lips were soft yet firm on my mouth I begin to yearn for as I lay there remeniscing.
If only I would have stayed that night around the camp fire, perhaps things might be different. Maybe I would be the one, laughing and giggling and cuddling up to him every night. What is wrong with me? Why do I insist on being so distant from everyone? Haven’t I learned anything from the old people I take care of? Life is short and I know it. Perhaps I need to let go of the idea that every one will eventually leave me.
As I get up and pull on my jeans to go to the bathroom, I attempt to forgive myself. If only dad was here, and my brother Joe. Funny how even mom crosses my mind. I was her only girl and instead of letting her dress me up in dresses, I hated her for it.
As I head on into the bathroom in the hallway, Monica quickly grabs my attention.
“Hey Savanah?” “Do you think you could help us out tomorrow and use your truck to get the rest of Jet’s stuff?” Monica asked with a smile.
Before I can answer, Jets steps into the conversation.
“My brother is coming in from California tomorrow to help, but he won’t have a truck or anything, our grandparents usually pick him up from the airport in Wentsworth.”
I give Jet a quick nod yes, and go about into the bathroom. Zipping up my pants I open the door, and continue with, “You two can borrow my truck, but I have to work tomorrow, so it will be afterwards.”
“Thanks Savanah, your a life saver, “ Monica replies.
I close my bedroom door, with a smile, barely looking at the two of them snuggled up on the couch. Filled with so many mixed emotions, I try to shake it off. Once again, Monica never looked so happy has she does tonight. I should be grateful I guess.
Grasping onto my pillow, I give it one quick squeeze, as a small tear starts to find its way down my cheek. It could have been me. I could have been happy in love. Instead I’m laying here in my bed alone, again.
I look over at the time, and its only 10:30 pm. Geeze. This is a long night already. I better get some sleep. I hear the sound of faint giggles, and close my eyes.
Morning comes sooner than expected. With my alarm blazing, I reach over and hit the button. I do not want to get up and I find myself forcefully moving my legs out from underneath the covers. Their is a sense of chill in the air. I guess fall is really here.
I notice the house is empty as Monica works the early shift at the diner. As for Jet, I do not know what it is he does. I never asked, and quite frankly its none of my business. As long as he pays his share of the bills thats what will matter. Perhaps my rent will go down, and I can finally afford some time off and go visit my brothers that I have been missing.
I make my usual oatmeal with raisins and put a lot of cinnamon in it. For some reason the smell of it, isn’t quite as appeasing as it is usually. I eat it anyway as my stomach begins to growl and beg for some.
I grab a jacket and the truck keys and my phone begins to ring. I notice its the nursing home.
“Savanah? This is Marjorie from work, do you think you could work a double shift today, Tonya has already called in, I guess she has the Corona virus, so we need you?”
“What, how did she get that? We haven’t seen much of it here.”
Before I can continue, Marjorie butts into my thoughts and conversation.
“I know dear, but she’s thinking she got it while she was visiting her family last week.”
“Oh okay, well sure, no problem.” I replied. I hang up the phone, and take a drag off my cigarette, as I’m waiting for truck to warm. I quickly realize now, that I will be unable to help Monica and Jet move has I had promised last night. I guess I will stop off at the diner before work and let Monica know.
As I pull into the drive at the diner I notice Jet sipping some coffee through one of the windows. So this is where he is. As I head on into the diner I notice Monica is busy with some costomers.
“Jet?” I quietly say with a brief smile.
“Why goodmorning Savanah, its a pleasure seeing you here this morning.” Jet returns the smile.
“I was just letting you two know, that I have to stay after work today and work a double shift so I wont be able to help with the move.” As I pull back on my hair, “I do have a spare key to my truck, and I can just leave it with you so you two can still use it, just be sure and bring the truck back so I can get back home. Is that okay?” as I try to hide my hands from fidgetting.
“Yes, Savanah, that will be great, thank you. “ Jet replies while he takes another sip from his coffee.
I lay the key on the table and take a quick turn out of the diner. I can see from the distance the obvious confusion on Monica’s face, but I hurridly have to go in order to not be late for work.
You see, that wasn’t so bad, I tell myself. Everything is going to be just fine. “Just fine.” I mutter to myself, as I drive away.