Stuck In The Sticky Stuff



I have recently come to the conclusion, that I haven’t been on the right spiritual pathway. I am not sure if the word pathway is even the right word. The only way I can describe it visually for those of you who might be struggling as well is like this. I feel like I am covered in sticky stuff. This sticky stuff is not good because no matter what I do, the only thing that is happening around me and to me, feels bad, and is bad. The person that I want to be is somewhere over there, beyond the stickiness.

As I sat on the edge of the couch this morning in the dark, awakened by the sound of the dog, I felt so disconnected from the person I use to be, from the person I want to be, from just me in general. I do not know how I got here. What I found interesting though is that when I tried to visualize how to fix this disconnectedness, the pathway to get me out of here, out of this awful state of being, was hazy, like some kind of road map to a destination with the lines all blurred and smudged out.

I try very hard to keep my blogging and the post positive, but you know, I just feel like today, that I need to be honest, life is not all rainbows and butterflies. It’s messy. It’s a series of highs and lows. Sometimes I feel like I am so close to my spirituality and other times I feel like I must have killed Jesus himself for everything to be so down right wrong.

As I took a short break from writing and went on about sorting the laundry for washing, a brief thought crossed my mind. I have been here before, and like so many times, this too shall pass. Perhaps I need to take a moment and pray about it, and stop trying to force my way out of this stickiness and let my spiritual power do the work. I feel for certain their is a purpose to all this stickiness. The lines are all blurred because I am focusing too much on this feeling of being disconnected.

So now that I have managed to get myself this far out of my own head, I hope this in some sort of weird way, can help you. I am not perfect. This thing called life, is not perfect either. Where I am at is just a blurred out spot on my pathway to better times ahead. As the sun begins to rise here in Oklahoma, I will go about my day and stop focusing on what is, and pray for what can be.

Thank you,

Just thoughts,

Bridgette~

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